I was with a bunch of friends out at Spice along River Valley after some drinks. Mid way through supper, a set of 3 walked in an settled at a table behind us. My girlfriend spotted that among the 3, there's a cutie. Let's call her "Blue" since she was wearing a blue top. (I am trying to stay away from community norms calling girls by HB7,8,9s)
So blue sat down with two of her friends at a table behind us and a couple of us turned to look. This is actually where it all starts. I knew i was not gonna approach as my girlfriend was there. But there's never any harm sneaking a look since she was the one who pointed out that Blue was cute.
Pre-set Observations:
- Both her friends are average
- There's no opportunity to quickly seat down with them cos the last vacant seat (table for 4) was being blocked
- Girls are fairly young and most definitely under 25 - Testers :) Go for indirect openers. If they are late twenties, direct game would work better...imho
- 3 sets are perfect for solo approaches as you will eventually end up in a group of 4 which is the maximum group size of most social conversations. After awhile, you easily isolate into 2-2s, you and the target
So i had no intention for approach but Ted was pretty keen. He didn't say so however, not until we actually stepped out of the prata shop. He said he was gonna get her umber. By the time we were stepping out, the 3-set has actually move to another table, leaving a 4th seat vacant by the side. I thought that was really helpful in terms of logistics. Further, we had 2 girls in our group so that's fairly good social proof as well. I thought it wasn't gonna be too tough. He is most likely gonna hit it. Ted asked us to stand outside but within visible range for social proof which we did. I thought that was quite smart. And then he approached and got her number in about 1.5 mins.
I was able to make a couple of observations and I thought I would share this so that the next time you guys do an approach, this experience could come in handy.
In-set Observations:
1. Number closing is way over rated. Always aim for a day 2 close. But Number Closes are good practise. Way to go Ted!
2. He was standing throughout the full set. I thought he should have taken a sit right after the opener for rapport and make it less "pickup-ish"
3. Too fast! I didn't hear the conversations fully but clearly, in 1.5 mins, there isn't much attraction you can build. Had he taken a seat, I thought he could have spent a couple more minutes to build attraction and rapport - think M3 model.
4. He gave Blue his phone after asking for her number and continued talking with her friends. Which i thought was a great idea. You gotta keep the whole set busy. That really helps take pressure off the entire set and minimize the chances of Blue seeking approval from her friends. I thought that was a rather good control over the set.
5. One of the things which i learnt through experience is that girls tend to give fake numbers, especially when there isn't genuine rapport in a cold approach or a day 2 being set up yet. I myself do that all the time when insurance agents bug me for my number....change the last digit ;) So...trick here which i do most of the time after getting a number is to call her immediately and lead her into the next phase (when you do actually call her). She will be right infront of you and her phone will be ringing...if it doesn't...well you know you have a fake. If it buzzes but she doesn't pick it up, say "pick up....please" in a cute un-threatening tone. Some facial expression here might help. If she's cool, she will play along. If not..move on and pretent to talk to her "Hey Blue...how have you been...thank god its not your voice mail" CF [cocky funny] really does help here. SO you set it up such that the next time you call her, the first thing that runs through her mind would be your cute mischievous fun...and not some random stranger. This is in a way NLP as well...
Sunday, December 30, 2012
5 things that will start changing the way you interact with Woman
This is the first post. And this post comes after a year and a half, dwelling in content and field experiences. My journey and experiences are not important. I will not go through the usual BS introduction of how I used to be an average Joe with poor social skills etc etc...and now have a 100 lays. No. That's not me. And trust me, that's not you. You are not average. But here's a list of 5 things, which I thought were really helpful in changing my perspective on social dynamics and how to interact with woman. And I hope it takes you one step further from where you are today.
1. If you have read "The Game", don't treat it like a Bible.
Neil Strauss did not mean for it to be a bible. If you haven't read it, go straight to his second book "The Rules of the Game". Again, this is not a bible. Read it, learn some basic self improvement techniques from the book. And then drop it.
2. Recognize that meeting woman is about effort.
If meeting woman is a problem, ask yourself:
- "when was the last time I took serious effort to go out there and interact with people (men and woman) socially"
- "Is my social circle status quo? Shrinking? or Growing?"
- "Is there a gender balance"
Then..Act! If you are not an asshole. You will be surprised how willingly your guy friends or girlfriends will introduce you to their girl friends.
3. Attraction is a function of both technique and pheromones
I have heard time and again guys say "I believe in letting nature take its own course". Let me start by saying that there is a fair statement. And it is absolutely fair if one does not end up (1) lamenting in regret "..I really like her...but she doesn't like me..." or (2) using it as an excuse to stay shy and not go all out to win her over. My point is, if you have an objective in mind i.e. getting to know a lady better and hopefully date her successfully...then, you need to act. Nature does not always work towards your personal goals.
4. Swap internet porn for more fulfilling online reads
Keep a balance between 20% PUA web content, 20% Mens Magazine (Men's Health for example), 20% News (Straits Times, CNA...whatever), 20% Entertainment news / Fashion Blogs (Satorialist etc.) and most importantly...20% on things which interest you. Here's why:
Internet porn twists reality. It could help relieve once in awhile, but find it hard to believe that it has any real tangible value. Reading PUA type stuff does help. Techniques aside, it may also help boost confidence. Learn from it, practise it and refine your skills in interacting with Woman. But keep it to a minimum and don't ever let it consume you. Stay ahead by reading up on what's happening around the world. It's not all serious news and politics. Have a balance by being well informed about stuff most woman are interested in (but which few men are). Knowing a thing or two about the latest celebrity gossip or fashion trend could help seed conversations. At the same time, constantly build on what interest you. It could be soccer news, diving, art...whatever. You get the idea...
5. Every woman is different
That is why openers and routines do not work the same way all the time. Most guys who have read The Game or other basic PUA materials fall into the trap of thinking "I have a toolkit of tricks which i can use...now..let me run this routine". Granted. This actually works! But it will most definitely now deliver a high hit rate. To improve your hit rate, everything should be customized and congruent with her personality type. And this is something that can be observed in a fairly short period of time. Thereafter, approach, kino routines, conversation topics, date ideas, physical intimacy should all be customized...to her. And...there's help out there. There's fundamentally 8 types of woman out there. Once you have mastered cold read, you will find that you will understand woman much better and hence be able to connect with them much more easily. A good way to start would be to look up Vin DiCarlo's Pandora's Box
1. If you have read "The Game", don't treat it like a Bible.
Neil Strauss did not mean for it to be a bible. If you haven't read it, go straight to his second book "The Rules of the Game". Again, this is not a bible. Read it, learn some basic self improvement techniques from the book. And then drop it.
2. Recognize that meeting woman is about effort.
If meeting woman is a problem, ask yourself:
- "when was the last time I took serious effort to go out there and interact with people (men and woman) socially"
- "Is my social circle status quo? Shrinking? or Growing?"
- "Is there a gender balance"
Then..Act! If you are not an asshole. You will be surprised how willingly your guy friends or girlfriends will introduce you to their girl friends.
3. Attraction is a function of both technique and pheromones
I have heard time and again guys say "I believe in letting nature take its own course". Let me start by saying that there is a fair statement. And it is absolutely fair if one does not end up (1) lamenting in regret "..I really like her...but she doesn't like me..." or (2) using it as an excuse to stay shy and not go all out to win her over. My point is, if you have an objective in mind i.e. getting to know a lady better and hopefully date her successfully...then, you need to act. Nature does not always work towards your personal goals.
4. Swap internet porn for more fulfilling online reads
Keep a balance between 20% PUA web content, 20% Mens Magazine (Men's Health for example), 20% News (Straits Times, CNA...whatever), 20% Entertainment news / Fashion Blogs (Satorialist etc.) and most importantly...20% on things which interest you. Here's why:
Internet porn twists reality. It could help relieve once in awhile, but find it hard to believe that it has any real tangible value. Reading PUA type stuff does help. Techniques aside, it may also help boost confidence. Learn from it, practise it and refine your skills in interacting with Woman. But keep it to a minimum and don't ever let it consume you. Stay ahead by reading up on what's happening around the world. It's not all serious news and politics. Have a balance by being well informed about stuff most woman are interested in (but which few men are). Knowing a thing or two about the latest celebrity gossip or fashion trend could help seed conversations. At the same time, constantly build on what interest you. It could be soccer news, diving, art...whatever. You get the idea...
5. Every woman is different
That is why openers and routines do not work the same way all the time. Most guys who have read The Game or other basic PUA materials fall into the trap of thinking "I have a toolkit of tricks which i can use...now..let me run this routine". Granted. This actually works! But it will most definitely now deliver a high hit rate. To improve your hit rate, everything should be customized and congruent with her personality type. And this is something that can be observed in a fairly short period of time. Thereafter, approach, kino routines, conversation topics, date ideas, physical intimacy should all be customized...to her. And...there's help out there. There's fundamentally 8 types of woman out there. Once you have mastered cold read, you will find that you will understand woman much better and hence be able to connect with them much more easily. A good way to start would be to look up Vin DiCarlo's Pandora's Box
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